Power That Changes Lives
Isn’t it like God to use the simple to confound the wise? One of the most powerful things that can change our relationships, our whole life, from struggle to abundance is simply forgiveness. All of us have opportunity to practice forgiveness because all of us have and will be wounded; it is a fact of life. But forgiveness can be easily misunderstood.
A few months ago a couple came in with big walls between them. She had violated her marriage vows, and he wanted me to “fix” her. The wife was already broken, though, and it was evident the Holy Spirit had been working in her heart. Her husband could not see this, for he held onto deep anger, not only against his wife, but for many things in his life. God, in His gentle way, showed this man how his emotionally closed heart and his anger had robbed his wife of the love she needed and pushed her away. Slowly but surely, he let go of the pain and emotional garbage he had carried for most of his life. He walked through each painful memory, choosing to forgive, and releasing it all to Jesus. It may sound too simple, but the evidence of change was there. He took responsibility for his failures and the consequences of his actions. He opened his heart and created a safe place for his wife. As a result, for the next few days this couple spent hours talking and dreaming together as they had not done for many years.
In our flesh, we struggle with wanting justice for times we’ve been hurt. We want the other party to do something or at least take responsibility to make up for the wrong that they have done to us. Are we not justified in this because it is only fair and right that they “pay” for the damage? So until they prove to us that they have changed, we continue to close our hearts and look for ways that prove they won’t hurt us any more. But this is a wicked trap, designed to keep us in bondage and eventually 2damage others. When we hold onto bitterness we soon become the perpetrator of harm to others.
Now I’m a firm believer of leaving the past in the past, but the problem is, we don’t. The damage will not go away with time unless we deal with the root problem in our hearts. But instead we keep dragging the past with us and filter life through the grid of our past pain and experiences. When someone touches an area of imbedded pain from the past it can be like pouring salt on an open wound. It doesn’t have to stay that way, though. There is hope, and it is powerful.
The way to freedom is forgiveness. It is not forgetting the past but rather working through the pain and releasing it to Jesus. Forgiveness goes against our sense of what’s right and fair, but we are still called to forgive and forgive from the 3heart. We all have a choice: hold onto our rights in the bondage of bitterness, or release them and walk in the freedom of forgiveness. We must also tie into the deep emotional pain in our hearts or the forgiveness will be incomplete. This can be extremely difficult. We may have buried our pain so deep inside we cannot see the roots of our pain. But the Holy Spirit is faithful in helping us identify and release the hurts if we are open and totally honest with Him.
When we make the decision to forgive we are really leaving the outcome in God’s hands, trusting He is in control. Forgiveness is for your freedom, not the offender’s! Let God deal with them. That is the way you will find new freedom in your life to love and be loved. You will know you have forgiven when someone offends you again and your response is not anger, but compassion. That’s freedom, that’s part of the abundant life!
John 10:10b – I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly. NASB
Heb 12:15 – See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled NASB
Matt 18: 35 – So shall My heavenly Father also do for you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart. NASB